Midnight movie… #drunkpost

It’s past 1 a.m. I am up, drained , can’t sleep and psychologically drunk. I haven’t been sleeping for, like, last two weeks. I can’t sleep. I am trying to work, focusing hard and ‘really getting it done this time’. And I am failing consistently. Every single day. Not that I am playing games or watching things all the time, I happen to just sit there with those words and numbers for Hours as well. Anyway, so tonight I came back, drowsy as hell obviously, and had the stupid idea of watching ’10 Things I Hate About You’ before starting to work again. It got all 90s and early millennial music and styling and 20-year old Heath Ledger and I don’t know, teenager Joseph Gordon-Levitt? I just saw an exact same denim jacket that I got during highschool and happen to wear, like, today? It’s lying on the chair now. It’s freaky. I remember someone’s comment on this in YouTube which goes something like ‘this movie is so 90s that even the grass looks 90s!’ It’s a high-school drama, and  innocent and simple and so extremely sweet that it actually hurts. And watching Heath Ledger as Patric, all young and bright-eyed and sweet and… alive, with those 90s pop in background…I mean I am an Indian kid and those exact songs were never part of my 90s days but the musical vibes… you can’t miss…

I am a hot mess now and fighting really hard to not drunk-text my old high-school crush and feeling like banging my head and crushing skull or break at least something… I mean What’s Wrong with Him, why can’t he get fucking Out of my head! What’s wrong with Me! He has no fucking idea of this! And I just said Fucking twice! And brilliantly, now it’s close to 3 a.m. I am still up, can’t sleep and definitely haven’t work. I was supposed to take a break, finish work and the blog I have been writing since three days. And now I am drooling over young Heath Ledger, and banging my head over not texting my high-school crush (who has no idea about this obviously and that’s precisely the point of banging head so hard). All these are happening without a drop of alcohol: I don’t know what I should feel. I should feel sad because my head hurts like the worst pre-hangover and I haven’t even got some, how sad is that. But shouldn’t I feel good because I am already this drunk, high and hung over, without spending a rupee or injecting any substance in my system? how cool is that! I don’t know. But probably I could fall asleep with the real thing. Plop!…and silence. I really don’t know. Heath died of basically not sleeping. Someone somehow just get him, or him, actually both out of my head, so that I can go plop, and rise and shine in the morning…On second thought, probably it’s already morning, I hear birds. But I heard them in night, they are also insomniac. Ok, chirps have changed back  to cricket-buzz, still night. Ugh…should I just…nope…

“Thou shalt not text in drink” 

                                                                                   -(even if you’re just mental)

And I’m out.

(gonna regret this tomorrow and forever, but got to lose sometimes..)


13 thoughts on “Midnight movie… #drunkpost

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  1. Almost an Absolute description of what heath must have been ongoing . A similar kind , you got drunk without any substance. Thus ,this causes substantial insomnia!
    You must have switched for a movie like cold mountain!
    Brokeback diaries has to be shut down !! Just jump from high school . Beat the back of your illusively drunkard head and say yourself , it’s phD now! 😋

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Hah! As heath said, Just it takes a push. That madness is like gravity!!
        Don’t let yourself to push, just float where you’re left with ,whatever comes.
        Just float !
        Swim in air !
        Kindly, without any substance😂


      2. Huh, he loved joker more than himself!
        Also , we people do loved the character more .Heath Ledger is an extraordinary actor.Only as a joker , he become a philosopher.
        PhD in criminal methodology!!😁😉

        Liked by 1 person

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